My Dearest Love,
I have been reflecting lately on Christ’s presence in my life. It should come as no surprise that I have been on a roller coaster of emotions for the past two months thanks to all of the pregnancy hormones raging within me. There are definitely days I feel at peace and other days not so much. When I think about the “why” I realize there is only 1 answer…my prayer life is often lacking on my “off” days. Rather than being receptive to Christ’s loving whispers, I become blind to life’s simple joys and deaf to His Truths. Exhaustion only exacerbates the situation. I become my own worst critic. I dwell on the ‘what if’ as opposed to the now. I thank you for being so lovingly patient with me.
Spending a few moments in the Adoration Chapel last weekend helped me to see things more clearly. I realize that Christ is present in my daily activities in the home. Though I may not always recognize it. When I think back to our many conversations, I am always reminded of that one quote by St. Therese of Lisieux, “To draw near to Jesus we must be so little…Oh! how few souls aspire to be little and unknown.” The “littleness” that St. Therese speaks of is not that of insignificance; rather, it is the humble submission to our Lord’s will. I may sometimes put up a fight, but in the end I am truly happiest when I have left all that I could possibly do in the Lord’s hands as opposed to my own.
It is when I have truly surrendered to the will of God that I begin to fully understand my vocation as a wife and mother. My goal, the only goal, that supercedes any of my earthly desires, is for you, our gorgeous child, and our beautiful baby in the womb to become saints. Some say this goal is lofty…even unattainable, but I know in my heart that you, as persons made in the image and likeness of God, are precious and that I must do all that I can do to bring you even closer to Christ. In order for me to do this, I must strengthen my own prayer life in the way that is most pleasing to God. I know what I must do. With the help of our Lord, I am ready to do so!
On this Feast of the Holy Family, I renew my pledge of love and fidelity to you. I am sorry for my own weaknesses and the times I have made you feel sad, angry, lonely, or ashamed. You are the rock of this family. Please know that all of your love, hard work, and dedication do not go unnoticed. It is your love that makes me stronger. When my ego (all those raging pregnancy hormones) gets the best of me or I experience spiritual darkness, your wise and very beautiful insights keep me afloat. I yearn to draw deeper in love with you. Help me to do so. I cannot fully be me without my other half—you. When we were separated during our engagement, we prayed the Holy Rosary together regularly via Skype. We should, as a family, resume that devotion to our Blessed Mother for the New Year. By looking to the Holy Family as the model of faith and love, I am confident that we will be a witness of God’s transformative Love and Truth not only to others, but to eachother as well.
Happy New Year My Love!! May this year be filled with happiness, love, and lots of beautiful memories.
The Holy Family, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Pray for us. Madonna del Parto, Pray for us