Spider Silk and Flames


I write again having unwrapped myself from the tangles of my own mind. These last months have found you and I walking together through a maze; it has been delicate, dangerous, and rewarding.

As I think about you, I meditate upon the nature of love; it is much like spider silk. Spider silk is pliable and soft, yet stronger than steel. It bends to the sways of life, and it keeps its integrity. It is nearly invisible to those who are not looking for it, and it is shattered by brutish handling. Yet for all that, it is inescapable by those for whom it was made; it holds them as securely as a mother’s arms, it envelops them until the end.

I have been trapped by our love my darling; of this you can be sure.

We have become open to one another; I have been invited from the antechamber of your soul into the deeper recesses of the castle. You have let me, and we have let each other, explore the treasuries and the mess halls of ourselves.

Our marriage is strong and secure; and that security comes from letting ourselves go into one another. The gaze between our souls is like the blast of the furnace at the heart of the castle; only this furnace has a fire that does not consume what it burns, while it tears away every layer, exposes every nerve, fills every crevasse, every opening, and every void. The deeper that we go into one another, the more we expand to fit into one another. What a wonder to become one with you while yet being able to strive for greater unity. It is no surprise that marriage is a look into the most intimate life of the Trinity; distinct persons, totally united to one another in love, giving everything to one another, and acting as one.

We have moved through the consuming flames that are mistaken for passion and have got at the glowing coals of our love that sear us with the intensity of each other. I feel, on this day of love, that I should remind you (as if you even needed it) that our intensity makes our marriage burst into its blazing glory; I look in wonder at the love God has shared with us, as if I were an observer, and I marvel only to look again to see that it is you and I who are embracing one another; we are the cause of the intense light that has been given to us by Him.

I look forward to our daily task of stoking those coals to an ever greater heat so they might melt the rest of the world away. Then you and I can stand before God grateful and proud, longing for more yet satisfied to the full, completely wrapped up in the Other while finding our identity in Him who loved us. How wonderful it is that God should share His gift of ourselves to us through each other?!? The world, the veil that hides the intensity of endless love directed towards each of us, is lifted away when you and I embrace in marriage, and embrace our marriage. God’s presence shines forth from you as I gaze into you; deep is calling on deep as our persons penetrate one another and we experience the foretaste of our destiny.

This letter is for you, because I am for you; all of this is possible because we are one in Him, in the marriage that He has consummated for the salvation of the world.

I love you; I love us; I love Him who made us for each other.

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Your Philosopher


About Letters To My Spouse

We are a Catholic husband and wife hoping to communicate marriage and family issues through the thoughtful medium of letters. Whereas our website features our love letters, our social media platforms highlight marriage/parenting tips, our Catholic Montessori home environment, photos, articles, and really anything & everything that promotes and defends life, marriage between a man and a woman, and religious freedom. Please know of our prayers and blessings:)
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